Question?

Ever had an experience like this?

Question

There is a question that everyone should be asked at some point in their life. The question may be universal. It should not relate to race, religion, sex, belief system, cultural base, or any other systemic situation. It should be individualized and subjective to that person. I believe the answer is telling. It needs to be from the heart. It reveals much about the attitude of the person who answers about their relationship with themselves, other people, the environment and every molecule that exists.

The question is, when have you/or do you feel the closest to (now here is the individualized part) God as you perceive him/her/it? For people claiming agnosticism, or atheism, there is still a perception of some connection to something. Even if it is connection only to SELF, there must be a moment, or an answer or awareness.

Personally, I have had in the past, some moments when an overwhelming awareness was present. I will share them. They are mine and will differ from yours.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a beautiful sunny day and for once my allergies were not attacking me. The Acacia trees were blooming, but I was loving the yellow color of their blossoms and not being impacted by their pollen. Eucalyptus trees filled the air with a clean, clear scent. I could draw it in and revel in its freshness without a resulting sneezing fit. My eyes weren’t watering, and my throat was not closing, and breathing was possible. I felt fresh, clear, and was glad to be alive and in the moment.

Outside of my small town, on the way north to the next bigger town is a long uphill climb. The freeway dips down, then strait as an arrow, climbs up, up, up a hill. There it reaches a ridge where it leaves the valley and flattens out into the crest of the Coast Ranges.

To the left, the view reveals an ocean that sparkles. It is blue into the distance where it joins the blue of the sky and disappears into the horizon. It is an infinity of opportunity and promises.

To the right, foothills with trees and scattered houses present another perpetual view. They too roll on into the horizon, limited only by their height and tree cover.

Up this hill I drove. At some time during this climb, a thought crosses your mind. This climb seems endless, how long can you climb until you reach the top. Will I make it? Under your feet you feel the engine grab hold of the challenge of the hill, and with an almost imperceptible surge, rise to meet the hill ahead.

Then, like a surprise, you reach the top. There it is. The open view ahead of you. The endless sparkling ocean, the sky, the tree covered hills and then, for the briefest of moments, other than the presence of the road and your car, you are thrust into a world where man has not intruded. It was at that very moment, of cresting the hill and leveling off into the view ahead of me, that I felt it.

My spirit soared. Forward and upward, into the open expanse of the gateway that was the view. I was no longer there upon the road, encompassed by a glass and steel vehicle, pulled forward by a man made mechanism. I was free, flowing out over the rolling hills, above the trees and over the power of the ocean and horizon. It brought an awareness that this was what it felt like to leave the bonds of the earth, to fly off and become one with God and the spirit of the universe.

This fleeting feeling was only moments long. It has stayed with me for 30 years. It had its own power. There is no convincing me that we don’t have epiphanies such a this. They are gifts. That was a light and love filled moment. I take it out and review it in my mind. It was real. It was a gift. I received it and keep it with me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another moment of feeling like a part of something larger than myself was actually in a church. I was attending a Sunday morning service. No particular Sunday, not Easter or Christmas, just an ordinary day. There was no particular drama in my life. No momentous decisions lay ahead of me.

I was sitting in the balcony above what was a typically packed house. This upper middle-class church no doubt had its share of “see me” attendees, and an equal if not greater number of heart felt attendees. At a certain point in the program, the attendees joined in singing a well known and familiar song. Most sang from memory and the sound swelled within the room and filled the space. The sound came from the heart. Even the ‘see me’ attendees seemed to be lost in the words and the unity of the moment. Instruments meant to accompany the singing fell silent as the acapella voices soared and echoed.

I had chicken skin. Even as I write this, tears come to my eyes.

At that moment, hundreds of voices were expressing joy in their communion and praise in their hears, I saw a cloud wing over the huge room. It had no specific source. It seemed an instantaneous appearance. It circled through the room, touching each participant as it went. No one seemed changed or affected by its passing, but the heart and soul are hard for an outside observer to see.

I watched amazed. A cloud does not spontaneously appear inside a room. It swept through us in the balcony. No doubt others besides myself saw and felt something indefinable. In a blink, it disappeared.

The singing ended and the program proceeded as though nothing had happened. To the human eye, nothing had happened. To the touched hearts and minds, wonder had happened. Inspiration on individual levels had happened.

Just as with the moment on the hill, there was no verification of this gift, this epiphany. The briefest of moments. The glimpse into a world unseen, unverified, unconfirmed. The reality of that moment was a gift that could be taken out anytime, anywhere and held for the precious experience that it was.

I never asked anyone else in that huge group of people if they had seen or felt what I had seen or felt. That would have cheapened the gift. I never knew if anyone else had been given a moment that they could take out a lifetime later and feel the power of it, relive it and gain inspiration from it. It was mine and mine alone. It may have belonged to hundreds but was unique to each. Seeking validation of its occurrence would have taken it out of the realm of faith and put it into a purely earthly experience, something to be verified. It suggests taking a diamond ring to a jeweler for valuation. Is it the money that makes the ring valuable, or the emotion and experience attached?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So to anyone who has ever had moments of despair, when everything seems bad and wrong and bleak, there is a sunburst of blessing just beyond your emotion. Open to it, expect it, move toward it. We have all had moments of sadness, me included. Being broken-hearted is part of the human condition. But love and light and spiritual freedom are equally available. Avoid the abyss. Refreshment to the thirsty is all the more restorative. A single candle can fill a room with light. A cooling mist or breeze relieves the hottest day. Feel it, be in it when it comes to you. Cresting a hill, seeing a view of the open sky, hearing hearts joined in song, or a single voice expressing itself, is all a part of the joy that is offered like a gift waiting to be received.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Share your own moments of connection. Karenmac1999@hotmail.com