Stress? Less.

How does stress manifest itself in your life?

Stress? Less.

We all have stress.

• The kids just will not co-operate, and we will all be late for school and work!

• Another meeting? Where everyone does not listen to the data and then come to a reasonable conclusion? Great!

• I finally managed to merge into an 85 MPH freeway flow, and wouldn’t you know it? That jerk just cut me off!

Yes, we all have stress. Sometimes, over, and over!

How can anyone deal with stress and stay sane and focused? Try a little RAIN.

The practice of RAIN is an adaptation of Vipassana yoga meditation. It is directed toward being aware in the moment that stress hits. The object is to deal with difficult emotions rather than being victimized by them.

The original meaning of the term Vipassana is the Buddhist intention of gaining “insight” The application of the RAIN technique is to gain the TIME you need to gain insight into the cause of your stress, rather than being reactive and over whelmed.

In the process of exploring this approach you will be able to recognize your own emotions and how they show up in your body, your behaviors, and your reactions. You can observe your own physical sensations, how to hear and then discard your critical inner voice and self judgments.

We can be honest when we admit we often feel stress due to time constraints. Recognizing that you will be late, or unable to meet deadlines, raises our stress level. These constraints and expectations are the result of trying to meet externally imposed parameters.

Your self-imposed judgements kick in and you find ways to come to terms with a reality that you did not create. Typical coping mechanisms include:

• Keeping busy to exhibit your value

• Procrastinating in dealing with the issue for fear of failure in finding a successful resolution

• Avoid dealing by adopting addictive behaviors.

• Buffer the immediate impact of stress by adopting other behaviors.

The stress is not eliminated or dealt with in any of these mechanisms, it is just put aside, temporarily.

Typical interpersonal behaviors resulting from stress include aggressive and defensive reactions. We describe this as the action of someone who “bit my head off.” Why did that happen? This form of aggression keeps others away and diverts from the immediate stress that is impacting the biter!

Modern culture shows stress in some common deviant behaviors. Hoarders, obsessive collectors, out of control and hurtful behaviors can all be distractions that keep stress victims from addressing their real issues.

How does the RAIN method of applying principles of Vipassana Yoga meditation deal with stress? The acronym for remembering the steps is RAIN. The letters stand for Recognize, Accept, Investigate, and Non-identify.

Recognize what it is you are feeling. Stress, yes, but why, and where is it manifesting? Is it giving you an upset stomach? A raging headache? Tight neck muscles, sleeplessness, general anxiety, and restlessness with an inability to relax. Recognize that the physical manifestations are the result of stress. Be honest with yourself and how its manifesting itself in your body, and ultimately your behaviors.

Accept that your stress exists. Allow it to exist. No amount of stomachache will change the stress. It is what it is.

Are you angry? Ok. You are angry. Are you afraid? Feel the fear. Are you ashamed? Accept it without judgement. Be realistic about your expectations for yourself.

Now take a moment an accept how you would typically react. When you are angry, do you lash out at whatever and whoever comes into your path? Its their fault? Are you then denying your aggravation due to stress and diverting it onto someone else or something else? Remember it is what it is. End of sentence.

Is your habituated reaction to just deny the stress exists. If it is not recognized, it does not exist. NOT! It is, but you are just not dealing with it. It does not go away if you deny its existence. It also does not go away if you blame it on someone or something else.

A productive step toward dealing with stress is accepting the situation, recognizing the cause and how it makes you feel. Then, move on.

Investigate how the recognized stress and your acceptance of it has made you feel. You feel impatient. You feel irritable. You are self-absorbed, moody, or discouraged. These are how you are ‘acting out’ your stress. This is exactly why you are trying to understand the affect of stress and modulate it.

Do not judge yourself for these behaviors. Your reactions are your reactions. Let them be what they are. Not judging yourself for your reactions is the first step in building compassion for yourself, a necessary component of dealing with stress.

Non-identification with the issue causing stress is the next step.

• You have recognized what is happening

• You have accepted that it is, and what it is

• You have investigated what you feel and why.

• Now you are non-identifying with the cause of the stress.

Non-identification means knowing, it is not you. You are observing it. It exists outside you. It is external.

• The traffic is the traffic, it is not me.

• The kids are the kids, they are not me.

• The meeting results are the results, they are not me.

You will go on. Step back a little as you do RAI and the N will come on its own. You become and observer, not a victim.

Instead of hating yourself for over-reacting to stress, then causing yourself more stress by internalizing the shame and judgement of your reaction, you are numbing or diverting or blaming to minimizing the stress, and instead of addressing and solving or recognizing the problem, you have now compounded it, and the cycle begins all over again.

Step back. Let the RAIN fall. Turn your face up to it. Be the storm. Feel the wetness. Know that it is what it is. Rainfall. It is not falling because of you. It is not wet because of you. You are feeling the rain. Let it run off you.

When a little rain is applied to your day, realize that it can generate new growth. Let it. There might even be a rainbow somewhere!

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Want to explore more? Try these experts and resources:

www.mindful.org/tara-brach-rain-mindfulnes-practice.

Mindfulness, An Everyday Guide, Science Classics p. 53

https://www.Tarabrach.com/rain/

or Google:

Vipassana Yoga

Meditation

Mindfulness,

Michele McDonald

Or visit your local library.