Bank Accounts and Relationships

Relationships are a Bank Account

Are you making a deposit? Or a withdrawal?

Anyone who has, or has had, a bank account knows that deposits increase the value of the account and too many withdrawals lead to a zero balance!

The same applies to relationships, platonic and intimate alike.

How do we make deposits to our relationship bank? Deposits that are made sporadically can be debilitating. The future is uncertain. Will there be an increase in the relationship? Or will it stagnate and go unattended?

If you picture your relationship as being a bank account, a deposit made now and then, when it is convenient, or there is extra, is not really a commitment to a healthy bottom line. A constant and consistent dedication to making the relationship balance grow is positive and healthy. It is consistent. You can count on it! It yields results in the long term.

Making deposits takes many forms. Every shared event is a deposit. We often think of events as memories. Positive memories deposit good will into your relational account.

A gentle touch for no reason produces a positive feeling of affection. A quiet conversation at a shared moment can heighten the memory of that moment. In fact, the act of discussing it and sharing makes the moment itself memorable. None of these things cost a thing. They do require intention and attention to make them happen. That intention and attention is exactly what makes these simple acts a positive deposit to your relationship account.

What creates a strong relationship bond between two people? It might be the sharing of a good joke and laughing about it together, or quiet moments over a warm drink on a cold night, or the bringing of a flower or a bowl of soup when one is down or ill. These simple acts are a positive deposit into your relationship account. A hand held, a courtesy extended, a warm gaze, all have value. These show that the person is important, is worthwhile, is thought of, and is valued.

Showing thought and attention on a consistent basis builds connection and enhances a relationship. When the stresses of life batter the bonds of a relationship, a withdrawal may occur. Just as with a bank account, a positive balance is there to be a resource when needed. The account, whether financial or relational, remains flush.

With a healthy bottom line in your relationship or account, withdrawals made by differences and disappointments are more than covered. Daily deposits of attention, affection and appreciation go a long way in balancing a bottom line or ensuring a relationship. No relationship or account can withstand constant withdrawals. Monitoring your withdrawals and deposits is required. Keeping a plus and minus accounting is unnecessary and derogatory. Like a bank account, a relationship does not monitor itself. Taking it for granted is a guarantee of overdraw status. Overdraw can be costly!

Make deposits a habit. It becomes a way of life. If a rainy day comes unexpectedly, you have the resources to face it. Intentional expenditures of positive resources cannot be expected to contribute to a healthy bottom line. You know the balance of your relationship account in your heart.

Are you making a deposit? Or a withdrawal?

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Comments? Observations? Contributions? Email me at Karenmac1999@hotmail.com