Is it a lie?

Karen McGinnis
Jan 13, 2023
4 min read

Is it a lie?

By definition, a lie is a statement that is deceiving or misleading. It is a deliberately false statement. As a verb, it is making an untrue statement. Why do people lie? This is a simple question, with a complex answer.

There are many types of lies and many reasons for lying. We often think of “white lies.” Everyone does it at some time. Researchers have found that the average person uses white lies a lot! They are found in everyday social interaction at least once or more times each day. We use them to make others feel good…and in the process, enhance our relationships. Example: “That new hairstyle looks really good on you!” Perhaps it does. Perhaps it is a “white lie” that makes two people feel better about each other. Example: “Can you join me for coffee later?” “No, I have an appointment following this meeting.” Reality here, one person is not interested in spending time with the other person. As a result of the “white lie”, no one is feeling hurt or rejected.

If these kinds of “white lies” happen more than five times a day, examinations of the circumstances are called for. Are the social settings involved not conducive to “honest” communication. Is one of the parties involved in avoiding interaction? Or is the person consistently spouting “white lies” just a prolific liar?

Prolific liars may fall into a group of misleaders that are not really interested in making the other party feel good, but is really promoting their own self-interest. If the interaction or time spent can be manipulated to benefit them, they will make it happen. Does it require a lie? No problem. The end justifies the means…er, the lie!

“White lies” and even mildly prolific lies can fall into the category of being harmless and just misleading. No one is really hurt. Society has no real objection to either tactful lies or mildly self-serving lies. It’s all good, and we just go about our day without batting an eye.

Things can get very complicated when the intent of lying becomes more convoluted and diabolical. Pathological or sociopathic liars come to mind. These perpetrators of misleading untruths are found to lie consistently. Very little of what they say can be verified as fact or truth.

Often there is no apparent reason for the constant barrage of lies. They are not simply being socially tactful and not just occasionally self-serving. Instead they are so habituated to telling lies and having them be believed, that they become incapable of telling the truth, The web of lies is so strong and complicated that they believe the falsehoods themselves and see no harm in perpetuating the lies…endlessly. They are so entrenched in the misrepresentations that they believe them to be true… and perhaps even beneficial to others!

The difference between the pathological liar and the intentional liar lies in the cognition of the liar. The pathological liar truly believes their falsehoods are the truth. The intentional liar knows they are being misleading. They may be intentionally presenting an untruth to get reactions from their audience. They are fed by the attention their lie generates and the reaction to it. This type of liar is why there are laws against yelling “FIRE!” in a crowded theater! Intentional lies could hurt people and the panic that might result from the lie is interpreted as malicious.

Another common type of liar exists in our society. Dating apps have increased the chance of encountering a “catfish”, a “gold digger” or a liar who is capable of “phishing” for a mark. All of these liars use misrepresentation in one form or another to reach their goals. Achieving those goals may lead to broken hearts, empty wallets, and shattered expectations.

Recent political news has introduced the “impressive liar” to the vernacular. Seemingly harmless, the impressive liar uses misinformation to make themselves look better than they really are. This self-promotion is certainly intentional. While seemingly harmless, a victimless crime, it actually hurts whole groups of people. It introduces distrust into what otherwise might be a safe and respectable situation.

Lying is not new. It is observable in the historic record…as far back even as the attack on Troy. The Trojan Horse was not accidental. It was intentional and served a specific purpose. In 375 BC, Plato warned against lies influencing the masses and manipulating the spread of greed among leaders.

America is not free from the influence of lies. George Washington is famous for saying as a child, “ I cannot tell a lie.” Was he avoiding punishment from his father? There have been Ponzi Schemes, Watergate Tapes, Conspiracy Theories, Tobacco lies, Sexual dalliances, Ethnic cleansings and even religious movements.

There are many types of lies. Lies of Omission, Fabrication, Minimization, and Exaggeration. All major religions cast a negative eye on lying, but may have used it in some form or another throughout history. With lying so much a part of our world, are we powerless to determine what is truth? Fact checking is now abundant. Sadly, we often have little trust even for facts. Alternate realities seem all too real. Testing reveals that there are “tells”, a poker term, in everyday speech and body language.

Ever hear someone say “To be honest…” and wonder if they were?

Also a prelude to a questionable statement are the following introductory phrases:

“To tell the truth,…”

“Believe me,…”

“Let me be clear,”

“The fact is, …”

Even the police are trained to suspect lying is occurring if the person being confronted is abnormally stressed, has details confused, looks around the room to avoid making eye contact, sweats in a cold room, fidgets, is anxious to leave, deflects from the subject at hand and shrugs rather than respond to direct questions.

Lying appears to be an integral part of our society. In some instances, we expect it. At other times we are shocked by it. It is as old as the Garden of Eden and as young as TikTok and Twitter. There appears to be no way to avoid it as long as our lives move in civilization.

Is the answer in becoming a recluse and living in isolation? Actually, even that is corrupted by misrepresentation. We all are guilty of lying to ourselves!

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Is it a lie?

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