What is it about "Whataboutism?"
- Karen McGinnis
- Oct 2, 2022
- 3 min read
What is it about “Whataboutism?”
Have you ever confronted someone about a transgression…and they responded by reminding you that some other person had also committed a transgression? That is an example of a “whataboutism.” There was no apology. There was no explanation, no matter how weak it might have been. There was no admission of wrongdoing.
And…the person being confronted made YOU feel guilty for even bringing it up! It turned into a lose-lose situation. Nothing positive was accomplished!
Seems like we have heard and even seen this scenario before. This behavior was part of the actions attributed to another “ism”. It was attributed to narcissism.
Another behavior often attached to “whataboutism” is the attempt to divert the focus of the accusation to another subject completely. The action of that looks like this:
Distract you from the original subject
Get the accusing party to think about something else entirely
Forget the focus of the original discussion
The purpose was to the change the focus completely. See how similar this approach is to the original “whataboutism” discussed? The first brings up another situation that is somewhat similar but attributed to another person. The second simply seeks to change the subject. Either way, the focus is shifted away from the original transgression.
This deflection tactic is a trick of the mind. Another trick is to use a counter accusation. This is also similar to ‘whataboutism’ except that instead of diverting attention to another third-party incident, the offending party launches an aggressive counter attack. The onus or fault is thrown back directly at the initial accuser. Sort of like the grade school tactic of “I know I am, but what are you?” Followed by a denigrating statement. We have come to call this bullying.
The counter accusation serves the purpose of diverting attention from the original focus. This is especially effective if the counter accusation causes the original accuser to begin trying to defend THEMSELVES against the counter accusation. Again, there is the action of calling out someone for their transgressions, diverting the focus, and now the added element of requiring a defensive posture!
No admission of responsibility for any wrongdoing, no apology, no explanation. Certainly, there was no improvement of the relationship between the parties. It is a lose-lose situation all over again.
The only one who “wins” in some way is the perpetrator of the wrongdoing. They seem to get off “scott free” by their response. They are somehow guilt free. It is the posture of the narcissist.
Not only is the passing of guilt and the elevating of the confrontation by introducing an accusation against the original initiating party at play, but all these actions are those of a narcissistic personality. They are a part of the psychological tactic called “gaslighting”. The original offended party that is seeking an explanation, apology or balance is now the stressed-out owner of guilt and somehow the responsibility in the situation. How did that happen?
Here is the process:
The distracting manipulation of “whataboutism” deflects the focus off the transgressor…
And
The counter accusation that passes blame from the original transgressor back toward the injured party…
And
The constant instilling of guilt and defensiveness to the original injured party…
Coupled with
The absence of taking responsibility, explanation, or apology.
All seem to be some for of hypocrisy on the part of the accused party.
Gaslighting, narcissism, whataboutism all go hand in hand. They all expose hypocrisy in the accused. The use of these tactics leads to a low level of responsibility being taken throughout our society. Somehow nothing is “our” fault. Finger pointing is rampant. Someone else is always whose fault it is. Someone else is responsible. So, if not responsible for the transgression, it follows, also not responsible for the correction. So, no explanation, apology or responsibility. Nothing changes. It is a vicious cycle. This type of fault-free, buck-passing is not supported by any known religion or world view. Hypocrisy is at play.
For all these reasons, when you encounter ‘whataboutism”, RUN! There is no winning against it. Its related “isms’ take over and their behaviors follow. Eyes open, minds engaged, activate your feet and avoid it immediately. Just as children are taught to avoid playing with the bully on the playground, so society should avoid engaging with these behaviors.
Instead, engage in meaningful conversations with thinking people. Seek a meaningful and beneficial outcome. Strive for a win-win resolution. Face responsibility straight on. Apply self-reflection liberally. Strive for a productive outcome and avoid “whataboutism” and its futility. It accomplishes nothing.
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For further research and deeper thought on this subject:
Search your local library for books on the subject of:
Narcissism
Gaslighting
Whataboutism
Blender Networks Yahoo Search
Wikipedia
Your preferred search engine
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